Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(424): View more from California

I figured girls wouldn't be down to sleep w/ a guy who plugged a pregnant chick

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(843): View more from South Carolina

Drinking wine. Reading twilight. On a Friday night. Biggest loser contest. First Place.

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(912): View more from Georgia

Hey. Whatever time u wake up let me know Ur alive. I need my vegas partner... I don't think they let u take corpses on a plane.

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(415): View more from California

You went around chanting "dinosaur period" and drinking tomato soup from the can.

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(317): View more from Indiana

His daughter is our waitress. I left her a ten dollar 'I'm sorry I'm a whore and fucked your dad' tip...

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(815): View more from Illinois

Last I remember we played rock paper scissors for who would fuck the guy with cowboy boots on and I won..

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(913): View more from Kansas

I thought this guy walking back to the dorms with his black laundry bag was walking a black flamingo I'm not even kidding I had to take a break on a bench after that.

(1-913): View more from Kansas

You're my favorite person

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(847): View more from Illinois

He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us

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(908): View more from New Jersey

I REALLY NEED TO STOP CELEBRATING THAT FUCKING HOLIDAY

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