So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
It was my birthday today and i decided that i am not checking my notifications on facebook so ill feel popular
Wrong number and your a loser
the fair has chocolate covered bacon...impossible is nothing.
He told me his mother taught him that move. What the hell do I say to that?
Do you think he woke up this morning, looked at you, and then regretted everything?
My mom said that if she can come this weekend, she'll buy the weed.
There's some drunk girl alone in the field, she looks like she could use some help.
Also it's only fair that you know that that girl is me.
I guess birthday shots aren't always the answer
HOW DO YOU GET TO BE A GROWN-UP AND NOT KNOW WHAT A DECADE IS!?
It's 5am and I have yet to fall asleep. At what point do we just accept that I run on vodka?
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
Tomorrow night, I am putting you In my trunk. No excuses we have waited forever for this.
Is it bad when I wake up sore & don't know if my injuries are from sex or the mechanical bull at the bar?
I asked you why you bought a sword and you then replied with the greek alphabet and then tried to assure me that samurais are apart of greek life.
Yea and there’s destruction when we’re together, mostly of our livers but W/e
Randomize
