is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
Correct me if I'm wrong but the photo album titles "cause I've been drankin" and "baby jessica" should not belong to the same person.
Just think, this time last Cinco de Mayo you were holding me up and finding me passed out in the yard of that house.
Ryan learned the all important lesson tonight; Red Bull gives you wings, Jaeger gives you gravity.
We're at the urgent care down the street from you if you care to stop by
Well sundance is in town and Im going to use my one and only shot to bang Taylor swift... Does it count as a random if shes famous?
Leaving your birthday party to engage in a threesome IS allowed. I checked the rule book.
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
Whenever we go out my brain flips on autopilot, straight to blackout.
sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
We can't stop being roommates, you do such a good job of holding my hair back when I puke. I don't wanna buy hair elastics.
Woke up with a $50 attached to my penis with a rubber band..
Sweet. Tell little Richard to buy us a sack and a pizza.
so... i have a picture of you and three other girls making kissy faces at this giant stuffed banana you're holding. however, you seem to be violently screaming at it.
Those bitches did NOT have my back.
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
Randomize
