Let me start this apology by saying you were the finest piece of ass I ever had.
let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
We left live chickens on the basement slip n slide. Good luck finding your car keys
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
My biggest accomplishment thus far this summer is having sex 5 weeks after hip surgery.
Cooked breakfast with his mom this morning...I'm like the housewife of one night stands
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
So heartbroken my rebound has a rebound
I started dipping tositos in my screwdriver last night
then apparently I went "not bad" and continued
I woke up to my one night stand and he said, "now that's the one to beat"
I woke up to his balls in my face, so naturally I limboed under him and headed to the bathroom. When I came out he was asleep on the floor.
I had sex with a boy who lives in a closet, that's like having sex with Harry Potter, right?
I tried to avoid catching feelings but then he took me out to breakfast
It was the scariest thing ever having a flame that close to my balls...
It's almost 5am and all I can keep thinking is IT'S WHISKEY TIME!!
Randomize
