If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
Someday soon you'll wake up next to a bottle of jameson and a half eaten lean cuisine and then you'll be just like me.
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar.
I woke up this morning and the lid to the back of my toilet was missing. Dahfaq do I do with this shit?
If you set your screensaver to be a slides show, make sure you remove dick pics first. This lesson 1 of living with your great aunt
He just showed up on my porch naked with just a blanket and a trash bag
5 hours of volunteer work playing with puppies and banned from the frat I hate most as 'punishment'... Besides the ER trip, I'm not seeing the bad in this situation
Every time I start to think he's just not worth the trouble, he puts his face down there and I wanna buy him a car
Our drunk hook up was interrupted by the delivery guy. When he came back to my room we ate the gyros and went back to sex like we didn't take a lunch break.
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
Thank you for coming with me today. I find it appropriate that we celebrated my negative pregnancy test with slurpees and donuts.
Banged a girl last night wearing nothing but my Team USA Olympic jersey. I think it's safe to say that nut was for America.
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
He was out clubbing with his SON. WHY did you let me KISS HIM? Also WHERE WAS HIS SON?!
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