OMG Im so trashed fishy! im sitting hereon my bed wif mcdonalds n i look like david hasselhoff!!!!!! kill me now
Sam from lord of the rings is 10 yards away from me, i am creaming myself.
I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
he broke up with me while standing outside, half naked, waiting to fuck him. i feel like a leper right about now.
my hippie aunt just sent me some brownies with a note saying not to eat them under any circumstances until finals are over. excited.
The only thing worse than listening to you two fuck all night was waking up and smelling bacon and there not being any left.
I pulled my tongue muscle last night. your welcome.
Oh my god, I hid a wine bottle in my boot.
He's freaking out just because my cat licked his balls while he was fucking me
It's been two days. I am still burping up jello. Everything tastes like jello. Everything smells like jello. I am DONE with jello shots.
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
There's nothing worse than carrying your fairy crown and wings home wearing fishnets
I just watched a stripper purchase $43 of Rockstar and corn nuts. Godamnit! We need helmet cams.
My apartment is so clean right now, I should invite someone over for sex just so someone can see how clean it is.
You can have my vag. Its useless without you.
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