you said grace in the diner. 5am, drunk, grace. you thanked the man w the mushroom cut for the wonderful supply of screwdrivers
I can't tell if I miss summer or 5 times a day sex more.
I'm way to drunk for this play. I'm about to run up on stage and drop the main character
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
Just did a walk of shame dressed as a cowgirl and walked past his ex's entire sorority. Yippee kye aye, motherfucker.
You're alright. You just passed out while we were having sex. Then I'm pretty sure you peed. So I went home.
Turns out the guy I peed on gave me a ride back to my dorm this morning.
You are a god.
you were caressing the jar of pickles then you looked down and whispered to them "I want you inside me"
The original plan involved fireworks and a lot more dildos but the new one is still okay.
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
Please tell your sister I apologize about saying her baby may have beef curtains. That was inappropriate.
MDMA IS GREAT AND YOU WERE THE WORST GIRLFRIEND EVER.
also i don't know what you guys ate last night but he broke the toilet
He's got a british accent, a tounge ring, and he's wearing an eye patch... Of corse I'm fucking him
I feel like I have the I just lost my virginity face and everyone at the grocery store knows it.
Randomize
