Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
Listen, I'm 30. If it doesnt involve a super soaker and some chicken wings, you can count me out.
Weekdays seemed more exciting when I had a drinking problem. Like I had something to look forward to at night.
Sorority life is like alcoholic girl scouts, plus douchebags in polos.
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
NO I WOULD NOT GET A GUMMER FROM A GRANDMOTHER
I just took two shots of Burnerts out of a ladle. Get here now.
I had to help him get his zipper down in front of his dad so he could pee in the bushes. That Is what moonshine does to you.
My mother just made an innapropriate gesture with a cucumber while grocery shopping at whole foods... Then she said "bitches love cucumbers" and all this time i thought i was adopted
Too bad, iambic pentameter is a drunk specialty of mine.
You can't die you're my only democrat family member
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
Just got back from a Walmart run. The music went straight from Kid Rock to John Phillip Souza. If that doesn't scream 'MURICA I don't know what will. Happy 4th!
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