i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
i wish there were pregnant emoticons
i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
I JUST WANT TO WATCH PORN BUT THE CAT IS JUST SITTING HERE LICKING HIS BALLS. I CAN'T DO IT.
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
My relaxing drive may end up as a surprise bootycall in Pittsburgh. Don't try to stop me.
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
Cats found the secret coke stash again
They owe us $80.
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
I just used a thesaurus to write a sext...
Oh lord. I have no recollection. I just got up. Surveying the damage. Found phone with messages out by pool. Still have not located my top or determined when i stopped wearing it
I'm currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
just to let you know, that was probably the funniest text i've ever received.
I suppose that kind of helps fill the void where my self respect used to be.
I didn't really break out of the friend zone, as much as I blasted the doors off with high explosives and rode through on a grizzly bear...
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