No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
When he came he kept saying "oh god oh god" and he sounded just like his dad. awkward...
My mom asked me to donate my child hood stuffed animals to the poor then I realized I was hiding liquor behind them. I told her I was too attached to them. She understood. Wrong in so many ways.
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
Found you in the bushes with fireworks, a teacup and no shoes. Decided it was a bad time to wake you.
How do you set tits on fire ? I swear her tits were on fire.
When did it seem like a good idea to do pull ups off the balcony? After beer 5 or shot 7?
And before you get all mad cause I said "nipples," I actually discarded "you are so wet right now" and "you have such a raging clit-on right now."
That's called being sensitive.
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
I have got to stop singing on voicemails. I just left my dad a 6 minute musical message.
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
It's official: I now only own one pair of jeans that I haven't blown the crotch out of. It might be time to put a stop to red wine Wednesdays.
You mean, in addition to red wine every-fucking-days?
Dear sober self, your keys are on the table in front of you the only way your typing this is with autocorrect goodnight love you
I'll start cleaning the house tonight darlin. So you don't have to fuck your two boytoys in the driveway the next two days.
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