You work out of a Hotel?
What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
Hahahaha you would not believe what I just pulled out of my vagina. Actually you probably wouldn't be surprised.
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
Just ate a gummy bear I found in my sheets. So yeah, 2013 is SO gonna be my year.
We had to take the hinges off the bathroom door. Needless to say, you are no longer welcome at that bar
I would like to dedicate my cray behavior this week to my uncontrollable hormones and wine. Both have totally Efff'ed with my life.
Dude you were sitting in front of me eating uncooked bow tie pasta...
Pretty sure I used toilet water to wash vomit off my face last night...
I'm gonna give the church their tithe, and the rest is a down payment on boobs.
i'm high and self actualising, please send help
Remember how I have such good luck that it's almost bullshit?
I'm afraid to ask, but go on.
I know. I know. He'll be weekday dick.
1. I drank goldschlager 2. I fell in a bathtub and hit my head (hard) on a soap dish. 2. I sat in said bathtub talking to a random stranger on vacation from wyoming (who i met at a 711 looking for taquitos) for almost an hour. 3. We got kicked out of said bathtub by owner of bathtub. 4. We had sex.
Randomize
