you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
She seriously pointed at the couch and asked me if she could "ride the talking giraffe". I'll never serve everclear again.
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
Lying on this bed is like lying on love and marshmallows and joy
I woke up in my living room, on the floor, wearing nothing but a fur coat?
HE TRIED TO HIT ME WITH A CHAIR. Stoned video games are NOT happening again
Like you know your sex life is in a downward spiral when your best friend offers to sext you from Ireland
she pointed to my dick and said you are going to save the world
If I ever go to jail it will be because of you, I can feel it.
Yeah, last night in the parking lot was hot. I'm sure whoever has the surveillance tapes thinks so too.
i don't think fitbit tracks "flipping the fuck out" as activity.
This morning, I found 5 naked people in Steve's bed with post sex hair, and Steve fully clothed sleeping on the ground.
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
Randomize
