Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
I feel like i'm in the derek zoolander school for kids who can't read good.
Just toasted a glass of brandy with my own reflection to my dimples. Why are you not here?
Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
After you took the handle off the bathroom door I had to coach the Scottish guy sitting on the toilet, throwing up in his own lap, how to put his pants back on. Yes, I think he won the drinking game.
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawnmower thinking of you
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
if i'm ever face-down on the ground puking again, promise me you won't try to braid my hair?
You're on Grindr at the STD clinic. I love you.
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
GOVERNMENT SHUTDOWN NO RULES ICE CREAM FOR BREAKFAST woooo!
I'm torn between regretting everything and regretting nothing.
Hahaha wearing a fake moustache in public was the best idea i ever had
Randomize
