Facebook lets you pick usernames now. You'd better log on and get yours before homewreckingwhore is taken...
Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
Red Bull/Vodka? You bet I'm showing everyone my penis tonight.
"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
I think the world might be a better place if everyone was capable of having open relationships.
I'm in my boyfriends bathroom and I shit so bad, there was no toilet paper but his mom's clothes were on the floor and I wiped my butt on her underwear... now it looks like she sharted
She goes outside, smokes 2 cigarettes, and insists on walking up the 7 flights of stairs so that her heart stays in shape. this woman is crazy.
he said i took off my shirt and wrote "help HATI" on my tits, and charged people to motorboat me..... i'd like to say i woke up with 267$ in my purse
Ok cool. Ill pick up liquor because, well let's be honest, we don't need an excuse anymore.
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
Apparently I got mad at you for "Not drinking with me till we thought we were seahorses" and smashed my face on your door. Then I put my feet in the oven and started crying because I was drinking alcohol from a pot. My life is spinning out of control.
I borrowed a glass of wine. And the bottle. Your cat said it was ok
Yeah. Let's save our goodbyes for when I'm obnoxiously and embarrassingly drunk and more than likely naked.
What's the protocol for doing tequila shots at a baseball game when you're chaperoning for a church group? You know, hypothetically.
I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU STUCK YOUR DICK IN CRAZY!
Randomize
