He asked about stds. I told him I don't have any... which I don't. They are now called sti's. Whooopsie
Just made everyone at my party download the vuvuzela app for iPhone, the neighbors absolutely HATE us
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
I can't keep up with all the guys you're banging. I'm just going to start referring to them by city of origin.
I met a bunch of Germans and said in german "this is for the fatherland" and poured a beer on my head
i'm almost positive she was a dude but like it doesn't even matter
re read what you just said
i mean i'm drinking free wine with lesbians and listening to sinead oconnor so i'm not sure who won that breakup
Ended up in some house where this dude has a $1200 leopard cat
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
I fucking hate them. They came over and sat on me and made out. On top of me. Who the fuck does that?
So I'm never gonna get to see you again?
Hopefully.
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
Randomize
