CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
That blackeyed peas song was on, so I thought that was prediciting tonight was going to be a good night. And then my garage door opner fell and hit me in the head.
I literally just copy and pasted that from another bbm convo bc I'm far too stoned to explain that again.
You asked me to be the big spoon, when you passed out on the stairs
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
She just looked at him and said "I'm gonna fuck that" and it totally worked.
I ate a pepperoni off of someone's floor last night. We need to talk.
So I was thinking for Halloween I'd do Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde....for my vagina.
Well according to all the calls, texts, and Facebook messages, I threw up on you guys last night.
You walked in wearing nothing but a beekeeper mask
I'm facebook/twitter stalking the guy I just slept with as he's passed out next to me. What a time to be alive...
I've started budgeting for next year. It looks like I'll be crying tears of dollar bills and handing them over to pay back my unholy college debt.
UPDATE: THERE IS ASS EATING. I REPEAT: THERE IS ASS EATING.
ED guy's penis finally worked last night. It was a Festivus miracle!
My bed smells like the plague
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