It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
Maybe it's cuz you slapped him with a pancake last night
cashier rang me up and said, "white people are funny." like i'm NOT the only white person to buy just lettuce & 40 glow sticks
Our sex has gotten so much better since we broke up.
Dude, she found the red hair dye from 4th of July. then she proceeded to give you a red mohawk for a more patriotic thanksgiving eve. How do you not remember that?
That makes 14 Xmas cards already! Middle aged people are really nice to their dealers.
I'm eating a subway sandwich in the bathtub because I don't want to move. God bless boys from Brooklyn
She just sent me a message. It's a poem, about eternal love, that she wrote, about us. Just because I took her home two nights - doesn't mean it's eternal love.
Oh goddamn. That a super downer Tuesday reality right there. Just hit me with the cold, hard, nasty facts.
I smoked too much. I'm sitting on my balcony and I keep getting lost. Help me
5 seconds ago I had no idea that a fart could travel so fastly thru the tanning bed. I taste it in the back of my neck.
Randomize
