Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
I feel like this woman may give her husband a hand job mid way through dinner. just saying.
I'm buying this stripper a house, I don't care what her name is.
you kept going on about how you couldnt haven been the one throwing up because you were peeing in circles.
You know it's bad when I can already feel tomorrow's hangover before even drinking today.
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
It's just one of those days where I'm too horny to function, to be perfectly honest.
I woke up in a strange bathroom. Was I blonde when you left me last night?
Where was Alyssa when you were sniffing the bouncer?
Passed out on some guy who looked like someone from Duck Dynasty.
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
I just tried to pass the bowl to my dog for 2 minutes before I remembered she isn't human. It is 7:27 am.
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
How have you never felt a dick as hard as mine?
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
MY MOM WALKED IN WHILE I WAS EATING THEM OUT AND STARTED ASKING US ABOUT THE PROJECT RUNWAY EPISODE WE WERE WATCHING EARLIER
Randomize
