I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
you figure out which one you wanna sleep with, & I'll sleep with the other one. problem solved
These margaritas aren't just going to regret themselves.
Apparently it's poor taste to ask for a break up blow job...in McDonald's. Also, that's not the best way to break the news either.
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
Do you think I should still be the condom fairy for Halloween even though I'll be like.. Almost 8 months pregnant?
There are cops on horseback in our back yard
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
There is someone hissing in the hallway. Not even a typo. Not pissing. Hissing. Like a large cat. Or a komodo dragon.
Be my booze princess bebe. I'll rescue you from the lame tidings you are confined to up in the sober castle.
this potential sugar daddy just sent me a photo of him butt naked in the woods saying he wants to "grow our spirits together." so i think i found us a new drug dealer!
HE WILL NEVER BE ONE OF US. HE WILL NEVER BE A DECENT, GOD-FEARING WHORE.
It's not my fault, Tequila turned all my alarms off.
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
Randomize
