I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
they told you the "weed man" wouldn't come until you were asleep, like santa claus. you believed it.
I feel so much closer to you now that I heard your poop splash into the toilet.
We should see who can shotgun a beer faster over iPhone FaceTime
Turned the water balloon filler into a jungle juice fire extinguisher. Please call me tomorrow afternoon and make sure that i'm still alive.
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
My date keeps hitting on your friend. Had no expectations, but not a real confidence booster.
Just got tipped $5 for distracting some dude's gf while he got another girl's number. Bro-code at its finest.
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
I'm getting drunk by myself again. But I'm not shotgunning any of them. That's self-restraint, right?
If you don't fuck me hard, rough, and senseless the minute we're alone in your room, I'm returning you to the boyfriend store
I mean, I already put pants on today. We're already halfway there
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
there is definitely a hickey on my left nipple.
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