Why did you send me a picture of a dick?
It was an accident sry. Not mine tho.
my roommate just said, "don't look at it, just put it iin your mouth"
I put it into a sports analogy for him: there are three teams in the league- friends, fuck buddies, and dating, and the fuck buddies roster is full, pick an alternate team
my mom is pro-life. I dare you to fuck me.
He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
As soon as they started using chocolate milk as a chaser for captain Morgan, I thought l it'd be best to leave.
I yelled out look at all those hickeys. And then gave her boyfriend a high five
Also, if he asks how he's doing orally I can probably ask if we're exchanging Christmas presents?
I wore sunglasses to take a shower. I might be hungover.
Wow you are like a taller more attractive sex Yoda.
you know you should be lucky to find the case to my dildo....that means no more random guys at the house!
The last thing I remember was them slipping shots into my beer bong, and me being happy about it
I would totally suck a dick for some poutine right now
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