what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
You were parading around the bar chugging girls drinks and then asking them if you could buy them a drink. It was actually genius
we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
I'm going to buy you a pony but under one condition: you have to name it sarah jessika parker
Sober December ended when I found beer behind my bed...I lost $2000 but spent 6 hours sober. Meet me at the bar?
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
He called me while he was having sex and asked if I wanted to go get mcdonalds
Getting your clit pierced is not something you want to trust to a crazy girl with an ice cube, some vodka, and a sewing needle. Trust me. I learned that the hard way.
Lesson learned:nothing good comes from an at home wax kit.
SOMETIMES YOU HAVE TO BLAST VANESSA CARLTON IN YOUR CAR AT MIDNIGHT TO FEEL AGAIN. IDK.
I don't want to just break his heart, I want to dip it in liquid nitrogen and then smash it until it's powder and snort the powder
I keep worrying the police are going to come looking for us.
For which one? Starting a fire on my porch or having sex on my porch?
just said thank you to the lady who gave me a body search at the airport
Way to fucking accidentally drunk dial me while you're talking to and buying other girls drinks. Don't call me.
PROBABLY?!! And here I was, about to buy you a glow-in-the-dark banana-flavored cock ring... Now I "probably" won't.
Randomize