We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
Apparently I look legit enough, cause the 3 bums next to me just got kicked awake by cops, and I was allowed to stay sitting here. That's a plus, right?
I'm pretty sure I'm almost gay. Like, I'd do it if I had no choice. Like, if i were in prison I'd try it.
I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
So currently I have a block of cheese duct taped to my air conditioner in lieu of a fridge.
I see you felt the need to carve your name in my kitchen table. thanks
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
Law school has no idea what kind of prospect they have coming in. I just convinced a cop not to take me to jail by asking him if he really felt like cleaning puke out of his car tonight.
Just found my socks folded and in the back pocket of my jeans. Apparently drunk me refuses to lose shit after the panties incident over New Years.
If you think for one second that I would forget Mardi Gras, you clearly don't know how much I love boobs.
I think I fell asleep on the dance floor at one point...but played it off cool and acted like I just did the robot.
I just need a fucking pair of pants. Is that too much to ask for?
Day one of being single and I've came three times. I can get used to this.
Just had a reminder come up that just said "Ham"
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