i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
i was like. eff you dude i'm 100% american. i went to a high school prom and i like springstein songs and i take rides in chevrolets.
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
I feel the need to send all my exes pictures of penises larger than theirs. Because they all must suffer.
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
Thank you for letting me get drunk enough to forget he was there tonight, but not drunk enough to make a complete fool of myself.
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
You've slept with someone mentioned in the NY Times, that officially makes you the most famous person I know.
Still drunk. lying on the floor just rubbing my cats nipples
I just had a flashback to me puking and you telling me it was okay because my boobs still looked awesome.
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
I seriously thought Satan had his hand up my asshole and was pulling out my soul. Never. Again.
I honestly think sometimes all you need is a $2 alcoholic punch poured from a jug into a big glass to feel better. I guess abblebees is my new problematic fav
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