wanna go halves on a baby?
what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
Your mom can still drink beer standing on her head! Talk to you tomorrow :)
Mom wtf!?
it's a little hard to watch the basketball games with my family considering they keep cheering for the guy that i had a one night stand with...
I just woke up to pictures of every angle of his dick I'll ever need to see.
i just added no after every hockey player in my phone..
Its 6:30 and I'm shotguning a busch ice while taking a shit. Outlook for work today: interesting
So in Aca Taco on grad night 1am, this bitch walks in alone drunk as fuck in her gown to the front of the line and says, "I graduated today...thank YOU"
Now you know my pain. Live with it. Own it. Recognize it. Cause its like shitting napalm.
On a completely unrelated note I think I have carpal tunnel
Again, totally unrelated
Yeah, nothing like barfing into a grocery bag you just put dog shit into.
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
I wish I could open myself up and check on my liver. Make sure it's hanging on. Ya know?
You got up in the middle of a sentence, puked, came out and poured another glass of wine and continued your story.
Randomize
