On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?
Strong 6
That's an oxymoron.
Your dad needs a mid life crisis affair thing, I could totally be that girl.
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
My neighbor just watched me eat a granola bar without pants, this is a whole new level of unemployed
The amount of my urine my roommate has consumed after I found out he's been eating my food almost offsets how angry I am
He sent me a picture of him bent over showing his asshole with the caption "vwahla".... No more tequila for either of you
I already ran out of vodka but I have more beer. I just ran naked into the high school party down the street as took all theirs. ...figured no one wants to tackle the naked guy..
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
Came home plastered at 8am. Roommate had hot glued all the ashtrays and various items to their surfaces. Couldn't handle it. Went back to the bar.
I'm smoking in a kimono on the couch. Bring me gin.
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
I just gave him road head. He came in the Taco Bell drive thru which seems pretty typical for my life.
Did you ever think you lost your bong and then you find it in the weirdest place? I mean, who leaves their bong in the shower?
There was pot, but there are no Doritos, no Funyons, no Oreos.
Send help.
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
Randomize
