i was unaware that anal sex sometimes ends with shit on the bed.
Just had a drunken guest at my hotel threaten to "throw a fuckin fireball at my face"
You'll be happy to know that I did indeed fracture my rib in a sex related injury
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
Note to self. Don't order a $10 bottle of wine on a 40 min flight because it seems like a good deal.
God you're perfect.
I am. So drunk right now. Good work, Frontier.
one minute he's happily playing with a lighter and the next thing I know, he's screaming and the swing set is on fire
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
Pizza rolls are incredible. They are like sex, except I have them sometimes
Getting haircut. The stylist asked about the body paint dried in my hair. I told her there was prob glitter, too. It was a fun night!
she pointed to my dick and said you are going to save the world
i'm really sorry, but i'm just not sober enough to make good decisions.
I just bought sparkling water with plan B. I am the most basic bitch to ever exist.
Tomorrow has nothing to do with the threesome
I am the one with the vagina. I get to call it.
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
Randomize