Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
Santa Clause just drove by me on a fire truck. Epic night begins.
I just blew my nose and little bits of weed came out.
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
Water skiing blazed is the most scary thing I've ever done.
My dad wants to dress like mitt Romney tomorrow night and tell trick or treaters they owe him candy.
My phone just autocorrected 'vagina' to 'vaginihilation'...when exactly did I need to convey total annihilation by lady parts??
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
Walking around as slutty Ron Swanson is amazing
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
About 98% sure I just walked by some dude jerking it in the library. I'm guessing his college experience isn't going as planned
I know it's going to be a good day because he didn't notice the bite mark on my butt.
I'm still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy the same age as my dad
I went from swearing off of sex to planning a threesome. It's been a rollercoaster of a day.
I'm not fucking you with a Stormtrooper helmet on!
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