States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
apparently, i ordered a pogo stick last night. i can't even be mad about that.
Either allow it in a formal toast or i will drunkenly tell your in-laws while i'm dancing on their table. either way, the truth is coming out
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
I think "banned from Amtrak due to excessive projectile vomiting" would sum up the evening quite nicely.
I love you, but you should know I'll always ditch you for weed.
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
Didn't get the job. Searched for my references on FB and saw the pic of me weighing my head passed out.
I can't answer my phone I'm at work
I slept with a male stripper last night. Priorities
want me to make you a grilled cheese? I can't guarantee it'll be as good as yours but i'll go down on you afterwards if you want
brb printing out this text and putting it on my bedroom wall
GOOD MORNING. Have you seen the Avenger vibrators?
I JUST LIKE FLANNEL, NOT VAGINAS! OK?
He has great taste in girls. I feel closer to my Eskimo sisters than my real sister...
Peeing in taco bell cups is part of the fun of going to taco bell
the raccoons are back...
Randomize
