It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
we just saw you getting yelled at by the cops for trying to 'hijack' a street sweeper...how have you not been arrested yet?
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
In other news, I apparently ate my retainers while rolling last night.
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
Omg just had weirdest best cab advice situation ever. I kissed the cabbies hand as I was leaving like he was the pope and cried
I have 7 papers to write and I already bought gas station ice cream in my pjs and questioned whether or not a beer float was a thing.
Drunkenly, I gave him a molly instead of an aleve so A) I'm still looking for him and B) I'm not sure about his headache.
Oh god now he thinks I'm into him because I've been staring at him trying to figure out what animal he looked like
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
I straight up told your dad I've slept with a majority of your family
Nothing like sitting at your midterm pissed at yourself because you put your graphing calculator batteries in your vibrator and forgot to put them back in before the exam 😑
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
did you know that sneaking into a golf course at midnight is a felony? the cop made sure to tell us after she peed on the course and hit on him
Randomize
