I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?
Strong 6
That's an oxymoron.
I just found puke in my bra..
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
thats the coolest thing thats happened to my vagina since i dated that guy from portugal.
He doesn't need to speak English. He needs to speak sex.
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
why is there a chinchilla in our apartment, and where did it come from?
question nothing. DON'T QUESTION A FREE CHINCHILLA.
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
Also, do you think i could get away with finishing my vodka cranberry from last night at work if i put orange juice in it? Serious question.
So I definitely tried to pay a cab with baseball tickets last night
He sent me nudes and I told him he reminded me of Buffalo Bill.
Dude I swear I'm scooping human shit out of the litter boxes. What the fuck happened last night?
Who else will cuddle and watch the Bachelor with me then finger bang me during the rose ceremony
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
Randomize
