doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
this wart on my finger ripped off while i was fingering this girl the other night. she thought she had gotten her period and started crying so i went with. its better for both of us that way
the ice cream truck is coming omgomg
dude, it's 2 am.
but its COMING
Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
When the phrase "Wow your huge" came out of her mouth I knew it was gonna be a good night.
You called information & said "connect me to johnny depp" when they told u it wasn't listed u said " try depp comma johnny he's expecting my call"
sometimes i think life is slapping me across the face and laughing, saying "ha ha! you're an adult!"
And whoever invented the condom should be put to death.
Sorry for drunk singing "love hurts" to you at 3 am.
Speaking of roommates, Kelsey and I woke up to urine in our trash can. Neither one of us is willing to admit to it so we've come to the conclusion that someone snuck into our room in the middle of the night
Someone's having a good night if they're getting gummi bears and Astroglide.
His search history includes homemade sex toys and a plunger. I'm scared about what goes on in their place.
I need to think of the best way to tell this boy he's not getting his pants back
Life lesson: if a hot naked girl tells you to spit on something, you spit on it. No questions.
Comedy Central is in dire need of more sitable faces late at night - Trevor Noah has a baby face - there are federal rules against those types of sexual fantasies
Randomize
