you were crying and the really sympathetic homeless man offered you a sip of his whiskey. who was i to stop you?
similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
wait a second... your telling me you want me to take you to the bank at 10 on a tuesday so you can buy a blow up pool and fill it with beer?
yes... and buy you lunch
you know you made it when your beer pong table is made from imported italian hardwood
It never fails.. every time I have a dick in my mouth he calls me.
sorry i couldnt make it to your birthday last night. i admit i chose being a whore over you.
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
oh my god. the driver of our party bus just said "no drugs unless you're sharin," my confidence in him is not high at the moment
I just heard "I just let you finger me on Megabus, I clearly don't have standards".
Yeah, sam & jessica were trying to have sex and you walked in & started coaching them through it with a fake hulk hogan mustache on.
I plan on being naked for at least 2/3 of the wedding.
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
I threw up vodka and borscht. I'm done with life...I threw this up in a McDonald's bathroom btw.
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
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