Joe is yelling at the trees again.
doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
well i just set every background of each phone in the verizon store to my face
He was like an evil genius with the clitoris. I don't stand a chance.
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
Leave it to him to get us kicked out of a bar for hitting on an 80 year old woman. I want to be that wasted one day.
He is passed out on the kitchen floor. He will fight you if you disturb him. Just a warning.
So many lesbians keep hitting on me. I'm about to give up and just go home with the manliest one.
Do you know anything about the Easter basket sitting on my doorstep filled with porn and peeps?
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
I think the guy I was trying to dance with was an undercover cop...
Somehow I became in charge of getting my mother laid? This can't be my life? Lol
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
Oh I'm sorry does your girlfriend send you better pictures of things in her ass? No? Didn't think so. Remember that the next time you wanna complain how I don't make the first move enough.
I just had sex on my divorce papers. I've never felt so poetic.
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