dude, i think i am in a porno. I was working out at the hotel gym and some chick was doing yoga and a guy comes up and says "good, now i know your flexible" then they started making out. WTF?
Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
I wonder how many times I can be hungover in one day
She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
they're doing drop shots of Jager into red wine. i don't want to be on that level
There where 3 half naked girls passed out on the pool table, I crawled under it and just as I was about to go to sleep some guy walks up and says: "dude nice spot" walks away and comes back with a pillow.
Also, if you all get arrested i'm coming to laugh at you because i don't have the money for bail.
Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce.
A valentines day commercial would come on while I'm masturbating...
He showed me a picture of his baby hamsters and I called them "Mammal McNuggets"
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
Ps we ordered a pizza at the pool today and I dropped the entire thing in the pool. We still ate it. #canthang
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
I have this rep as a wingman for a reason. I'm like a poon caddy. "You might want to use a 9 iron on this hole. "
So I should just walk in, look him in the eye and say, "I just came to fuck your brother, nice to meet you" and just walk to your room.
Randomize
