I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
somehow we got the entire party to start singing "ill make a man out of you" from mulan. needless to say, that kid had the best keg stand i'd ever seen.
I keep forgetting that I only have two nostrils.
he met me at the airport with a welcome home sign with a grilled cheese, PBR and a blow job on it. i missed america.
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
You peed in my camelbak and said it was a reverse catheter. Not cool.
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
next time we drink: battle shots.
battle shots or battle shits? if its the first, explain. if its the second I think I figured it out.
I need to stop drinking and eating and start working out. I look like the lovechild of John Goodman and Jabba the Hutt.
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
The cop let me finish my J before he cuffed me. Coolest arresting officer ever.
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
He came into my room last night and started peeing underneath my desk, I told him the bathroom was the next door over.
There was already gay porn open on my laptop with a tiny carrot cake, a bottle of water, and a note saying "I love you, Sober Me."
Drunk me just hits it and quits it.
Randomize
