your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
never have phone sex with a hardcore republican during this health care crisis . just dont.
tonight i'm making a christmas tree shaped shot pyramid
y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
You kept excitedly announcing to the bar what time it was. Followed by an equally excited "Clock language still makes sense!"
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
Bro she gave me the stare. It's like she boned me with her eyes. I'm going in.
I don't think tequila will soothe the spots where my tonsils used to be.
He was literally going down on me and giving me a foot rub AT THE SAME TIME. What more can I ask for?
Also.. The Hobbit does not look like a cartoon. We were just too fucking high.
Brunch got away from me. I might be a little high.
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
Randomize
