Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
That fat broad you banged out last night is still here and I can hear her snoring through the living room wall. I would leave, but I don't want to come home to an empty fridge.
my ultimate dream in life is to have sperm so powerful that it will rival that of jim bob duggar.
White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
We George Forman grilled some girls phone last night.
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
Why are there chunks of your hair in everyones pocket?
I decided to mark my territory.
We weren't even through customs yet, and we got offered weed. You would love Jamaica.
If I'm not drunk and wearing a penguin hat by the time we are done opening Christmas presents then coming home for Christmas was a complete failure
Btw had an awesome time last night. Found some blood on my shirt and ear but I'll chalk it up to the tequila shots.
She just sent me a message. It's a poem, about eternal love, that she wrote, about us. Just because I took her home two nights - doesn't mean it's eternal love.
I am praying to every god I can that he drank so much that he won't even remember me
Did you send me a cake saying 'Happy 1st One-Night Stand Ever'?
I don't think it's a coincidence that the day I just happen to do the splits at the gym I come back with 7 guys' phone numbers.
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
Randomize
