no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
I kno. She bruised her chin trying to swim thru the hardwood floor.
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
There is only one good excuse for how sore I am right now. And that is incredibly acrobatic sex. Unfortunately for me that is not my excuse.
Hefty paycheck and not get wasted can't exist in the same night
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
I literally just fucked insane clown pussy. 24 yo nut job moonlights at children's parties. Gave me head while still in full clown makeup from my kid's birthday party.
Ran out of deodorant. Febreze on a paper towel? Kicking college's ass.
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
Kids parked next to me are getting it on. I'm eating chicken nuggets listening to Kanye alone. Happy Valentine's Day.
Yes. I am out of condoms. I kept filling them with glow paint and playing with them when I was on mushrooms, which resulted in me having unprotected sex last weekend
Last night I had a dream that I changed my last name to Vodka. what does that say about my life?
Responsible things to do when you're too hungover to get out of bed: Breast self exam.
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
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