Denial is the first step to alcoholism…and I don't hate it
I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
She called me Jeff during sex, I just kept going like nothing happened. To think, if I was a woman that would be a problem.
He went soft
Wait. During?
Yeah, he was IN. MY. MOUTH.
If I had a nickel for every time my parents threatened to stop paying tuition I would be a very rich man. Rich enough to pay my own tuition.
I get way too drunk to be trusted with family heirlooms
...and all my boxers are outside in the snow because????
theres a new barista at starbuck holy fuck she's hot
i want to face-plant into her vagina
He started french braiding my hair while I was blowing him. The question is not why, but how.
If they could bottle a hangover it would taste exactly like lemon lime Gatorade and failed hopes and dreams
pray to the hookup gods
I think i got beer on your cat.
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
Randomize
