oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
The KFC double down is way too much for a drunk. He was just staring at it in awe.
Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
They are currently going door-to-door asking the neighbors to donate money for Cheez-Its and gift wrap. They asked me to stay back at the house to make another pitcher of margaritas.
It was my penance. God came down to me in the form of an angel and said, "you must atone for your sins, by puking in your mouth at church right before communion"
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
Of course not. I'd be offended if you didn't bring my boobs into casual conversation.
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
I just had sex with the megalodon show on in the background and it was just as magical as it sounds
Im gonna go lick parts of my apartment. Good night and be ever vigilant, you never know when I'm coming to epoxy your hand to you nipple.
you told me I was being patronizing because I didn't want you to run barefoot across a construction site
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
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