Not good, Ive never been this late. We need to talk.
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he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
I just realized that i have never seen about 30 percent of my friends sober before
The man at the Honda dealership told me I smell like vodka and probably shouldn't be driving.
I hope his life after cheating on me is as good as Tiger's golf game is these days.
We came back and there was a shotglass filled with what looks like blood. Come over soon, we're gonna try it out.
He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
I'm setting a 12:15 alarm for a taco bell run. Be awake or never wake up again.
He pointed at some girls and said "I'm gonna have sex with them girls over there", and disappeared.
Tell Taylor to rock on. Tell her she is so beautiful that the sun shines down on her face and shows her beauty. Tell her to live on, like Martin Luther King. He'll never die. He's living his dreams.
Dammit labor day drinking cancelled due to 3 inch long table saw cut to palm
Hooked up with a guy resembling a bearded Cher. I need the lenses on my beer goggles fixed. Pronto.
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
Those brownies did us in. I honestly blacked out completely.
What brownies? Ohmygod.
Randomize
