so the guy behind me in court for my DUI hearing got a DUI on a lawnmower at 1AM...he is my new hero
u know u need to get laid when watching mike wazowskis gf from monsters inc makes u horny
i feel like i want to date him just so i could be besties with his penis
I should have kept drinking, a coma can't be as bad as this hangover
Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining.
Whoever was the last to get in from the chinese firedrill had to pay the dealer.
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
How many times is too many times to use the word 'fuck' in my thesis?
Pretty sure I love my nipple piercing more than I'll love my children someday
I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.
He told me that when he bends me over that chair I remind him of a bull rider. So thanks for being the ex that helps my present sex life
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
at least he now gets to tell people how he once threw a party so epic that the next day they had to clean some girl's body paint off the ceiling
Come as you are, bitch. Glitter and vodka provided.
I'm sorry I missed your birthday brunch. If it makes you feel any better I woke up wearing someone else's toga and a sombrero
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