My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
Excuse me? I'm weird? You're the one sticking your penis into a pringles can.
good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
I just delivered a ham and cheese to a strip club. you were right this job is not that bad
So I hear you're taking over showing your penis responsibilities now that I'm gone?
Yeah. Let's save our goodbyes for when I'm obnoxiously and embarrassingly drunk and more than likely naked.
Sex on the scooter in the parking lot wasn't the smartest idea. Actual quote from the cop as he handed me the ticket and fist bumped me.
That's what he gets for shittin at the strip club. Who does that??
You're the only one to love me enough for me to admit the following: Rock-bottom sounds like sobbing to a Miley Cyrus song.
Before we have sex for the first time I would like "eye of the tiger" to be playing to mentally prepare me for what I'm about to endure.
I don't really want to talk about it, but if anyone finds my unicorn mask with my bra in it, I would really like that back.
I blame her lesbian super powers of coercion.
Pretty sure he proposed because my house is awesome. His ass is a ten and he's offering to pay more than half the bills... How expensive is a divorce really? I mean I could probably put up with him for three or four years but a lifetime is a big ask.
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