Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
wait do you know what youre gonna say if they ask how youre getting back?
yes. helicopter.
Apparently 'she used to sleep with my brother' is not an acceptable answer to how do you know each other.
Dude, she introduced me to her best friend form Russia and she was a 10. Her other Russian friend was even hotter. How did communism fail?
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
He cannot be your sugar daddy. He looks like a literal hot dog.
If there's anything else you're planning on stealing from me, please let me know so I can set it on fire
I'm now using my vagina for good, not evil. Trying to restore balance to the force.
There's a big difference between a penis and a toilet.
FYI bail money is still in my drawer. I know you have no car but you need to know this for tomorrow.
He thought it would be sexy if he found my clothes and dressed me, and it was..until he found a thong under his bed and assumed it was mine. It wasn't
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