Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
I'd like to personally thank you for not letting anyone puke in any of the salad bowls this time
her roommates boyfriend drunkenly walked in on us banging and said yeeeeaaaaaahhhh and tried to high five me
I woke up with like grass burns all over my body, i'm pretty sure i made out with someone under a bus. . . but i'm not sure
Besides. I seriously had a dream that George W Bush came over and slapped some tabs down on my kitchen counter and said "let's get juiced.". It was a sign to not get too fucked up
Thing I said while arguing: I want to be single again so that I can have pizza and dick rained down upon me.
Pulling out all the stops on being a lady.
You. Dating a sex offender cop. Life writes itself sometimes.
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
I don't think the TSA would be too happy. Who knows if three ounces of lube will be enough for us?
You know you're high when, "Why can't I steal the duck?!" Becomes a serious question.
the next thing I knew, I was on the floor of a Tim Hortons bathroom in Canada.
Idk I've taught my 18 month old how to say nipple so kids aren't all bad
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
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