Disney World has no open container laws. Ohmygod this place is even cooler than it was when I was ten.
my mom told me that she didn't count me in the census because im a waste of life anyway.
things I have learned from cosmo today- 40% of guys are uncircumsized, you can have a beer facial, and i really need to get tested for std's
Apparently she held up my head the entire 40 minutes, convincing the cab driver that I was okay
It's 4PM and I'm finally awake.. I'm covered in dog fur and shame. I'd say it counts as a good night.
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
Omg, looked at my call history, and judging by the times of calls it took me like half hour to walk home frommcds
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
Also the bouncer Straight up told me my id was shitty and I should get a new one. But he let me in anyways because #boobz
One eye has cum in it and the other has sunscreen
summertime
Sorry again for almost setting you on fire.
I was taking a nap and she comes in wo/ pants, gets up on the bed and mounts my face while watching Weeds on Netflix. I'm okay with it, but at least let me wake up first.
Well you’re enrolled in an Ivy League grad school and I’m currently at a 2 star holiday inn in rural PA so who is really thriving here
I'm literally watching a webcam of the Vegas strip right now and it is making me sad.
Randomize
