and then you made a playlist that was just "party in the usa" on repeat...
so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
ATMs should seriously have built in breathalysers, I would save so much money.
Dont forget about the tuna sandwich behind your TV
Can I sell my birth control in a yard sale?
It's just one of those days where I'm too horny to function, to be perfectly honest.
He ran over from the bar to give me more singles because the stripper was doing gymnastics on me. He is a really great friend, just probably not the best boyfriend.
I'm throwing in the towel on today. The puke gods have won this war
I just ran into the woods like an idiot because ADVENTURE.
I added a U.S. Senator on snapchat....casual.
A man can only lie in bed watching COPS for so long before he wants to do things that can lead him to starring on the show.
i want to platonically make out with them, platonically. in the back of this minivan
I'm driving to his house to eat chicken and hopefully have an orgasm
he force fed me pizza, ripped my clothes off, almost broke the couch, and actually broke my nose. it was a good night, i'd say 😂
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