An eyelash just fell out into my container of rice. Searching for it, i took a single piece of rice out at a time coming to the coclusion that i should not be this high while eating rice.
I cannot stress to you how much better your current situation is than listening to gay sex
When she talks to me all I hear are 5 generations of inbreeding speaking.
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
Theres a picture of you hanging up on the wall in mcdonalds, i'm impressed
Only thing I know is apparently I danced with a bouncer and we got a ride back from a valet who was driving one of the cars he was supposed to be parking
Just got a free shot w my beer...it's not quite 11am yet...I love international travel. These people aren't judgmental.
I feel like my uterus is decaying in my body
You should try cooking mac & cheese naked sometime. It's quite relaxing.
WHEN THE FUCK DID MCDONALD'S DECIDE TO QUIT SERVING BURGERS AT 1:00AM?
I would peed on everything
CALL 911 HAND IS STUCK IN THE GARBAGE DISPOSAL. HELP
Do we still have any pizza left from last night?
My previously white toilet seat is now hot pink. I'm not sure why or how but I know it's your fault.
It was a "have 911 on speed dial" kinda night
Let's just say, I'm pretty sure you're banned from Skype.... like, forever.
Looking back, we probably shouldn't have chased alcohol with more alcohol
Randomize
