I accidentally broke up with him while I was drunk which is really too bad since I'd just gotten a birth control perscription so we could start having sex.
Do you think he'd take me back if I said "dude, we need to get back together or this IUD is going to have an existential crisis for not realizing its full potential"?
If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
I never want a future conversation of ours to include the words "quart of semen" in it
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
this is a time for prayers...seriously
let us hold hands and pray.. sweet baby jesus please bring us some sweet sweet man loving this homecoming weekend to aid our lonely vaginas it has been a long couple of weeks amen.
Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
I'm pretty sure he's lost all respect for me. it probably happened somewhere around the time i had officially slept with every single one of his friends..
I HAVE A PRESENT FOR YOU AND ITS NOT MY VAGINA
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
I don't know if I want to live in a world where i can't fuck an exes brother.
We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
I may or may not have just hot boxed a backhoe on the construction site of a police station that's being rebuilt..
I'm just to the point my give a fucks is so far in the red that I'm going to have to take out a 30yr loan of fucks to repay it
He's good looking but he really sounds like kermit the frog, can you imagine how fucking him would sound like?
so we just got back from swapping peoples patio furniture around to different patios. some people might like unexpected change. others might regret living on the ground floor.
Randomize
