Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
I just had unprotected sex with a stranger. but i did him wearing nothing but my pearls. so its classy.
Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
i just put all of my beerlympics medals into my academic awards box. i would say they are my greatest achievement since college.
All I remember is yelling RUN as fireworks started going off in the kitchen. Who said that was a bad idea?
Now she's making me sit here and look at pictures of guys she likes who look like bears. She's calling them her bear friends.
The homeless guy out front said it's his birthday and he asked us to join him for happy hour after work. He's buying a fifth of gin to celebrate.
Does peppermint hummus sound good or am I just high?
At this point I will cuddle anything to prevent from dying alone
So how was the sex with me last night?
No worse than usual.
All I know is I drank too much, danced too little.. yet somehow woke up on the floor in the arms of some cowboy.
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
I don't have the resources to adequately explain this. I need like a Powerpoint presentation and also Vodka.
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
I just watched a magician wearing a fedora deep throat a balloon\n
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