Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
his eyes are fucked up, he bumped into the cabinet while standing in my office, and he's pounding chicken soup, and he must have chewed on 8 pieces of gum before he got here.
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
Dude I wanna go on a booze cruise
Dude our life is a booze cruise
But without boats...
Although I would ideally cut back on smoking weed, imagine what getting high and looking for our spirit animals would be like
I just traded 5 cigarettes for a sandwich on they greyhound.You owe me 5 cigarettes. I told you I would get hungry.
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
I can't help you right now because I'm shaving my feet...like a lady.
Laziness has hit a new level. I'm out of clean sexy underwear and meeting a boy tonight so I'm having a thong delivered via post mates.
I knew it was love when he told me he wants to see me have multiple orgasms in one night
Don't make me do math I'm drunk and full of chicken
He asked if we were going to take advantage of his drunken state. When we said no he tired to show us what we were missing out on. It was so sad it almost made him cute.
I had a dream that you were telling me how good you are at parkour and legit you were doing it just like Michael Scott...
You just kept telling everyone to call you MFT.. Mother Fucking Tornado.
Randomize
