her vagine was all disorganized.
Finally jerked of with a banana peel.
Funny, I didnt know that facebook statuses were for crappy song lyrics
all i wanted to do was something grown up. like go to applebees and drink.
She just told me she blew the waiter in the bathroom. Should I still leave a tip?
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
New level of high: If I could bathe in my salsa right now I would.
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
We decided to make playlists for each other. Do you know any songs that say "sorry I'm not as hot as your prostitute ex?"
He's not messing around tonight. 4 fist pumps.
It all started because he put my damn phone in his pants. By his crotch nonetheless.
You know you were way drunk when you wake up at 7 AM halfway on a couch, tangled in a sheet with your shoes still on.
I'm glad our friendship can withstand laughing mid-blowjob during the diarrhea scene in Dumb & Dumber.
Let's be honest, college orientation is going to be "here's how to drink everclear"
Woah don't start going all boyfriend on me now, you're here for one thing and one thing only and that's sex, hot shameless sex.
Randomize
