Non-Jews are for practice
One little Beyonce reference and he turns on me faster than liberals on Jon Mackey
I have a fruit stripe tattoo on my penis. You're the only person I know who chews that gum.
so he made me dinner last pm @whch point i askd if i could help out. he hands me his fucking laundry and asks me 2 do it
only you. it could only happen to you.
We met on a dual walk of shame. It has to be love, we can't let that go to waste. I want to tell our children that story.
Remember that amazing deer? You peed next to that dear..
My mom made me write an apology letter to all my family for hijacking the eggnog.
I'm practically paying him in tacos to have sex with me.
please hold off on going into labor, i might need you to take me to the free clinic
there's still three solo cups of your puke in my basement. so that needs to be solved at some point.
He's short and fat and honestly I think he's what my self esteem was made for
I walked in on him fucking my best friend. I think we've reached the point of following each other on twitter.
I don't know whether to be insulted or flattered that I am being propositioned to have a threesome only if I wear my cat onesie
How do I send someone an apology text for giving them a lap dance in the middle of a party last night?
Shame - the story of my life.
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