He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
So then the officer asked you how you were getting home and you told him "very carefully"
There is nothing like getting stoned and spying on people with binoculars
She's running around bumping into to people trying to keep a balloon she filled with vodka in the air. Please tell me she has a secret off switch you didn't tell me about.
The cop was more concerned with the fact I had cowboy boots on with shorts than the fact we were under age
Like, he's a nice guy. But he's better at fingering than he is at speaking.
In your drunken glory you promised me, tongue, 12 naked pics, and 1,800 breakfasts.
she's just been through a whole lot lately. When the crazy starts leaking out we give her vodka and lock her in the room with all the pillows.
so that's what that room is for...
Totally forgot I asked the cop for a theoretical fist bump and he still let me drive away
A homeless man just offered me vodka. The power it took to deny it deserves an award.
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST.
The kitchen also doubles as a screaming room after midnight as long as you have something to muffle the sound
Hey I’m obsessed with Charlie Heaton from stranger things...not because he got caught at the border with coke...okay that’s a lot of it
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