We got drunk before dinner. People at the other tables were praying for us.
Just printed out my Plan B coupon at the library. Saving my own printer ink and paper as well as 10 dollars towards not being knocked up.
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
just passed out while on hold to see if i left my debit card at the bar last night.
the best sex is "duke just lost" sex.
I wasn't sure how he was going to followup "so,i shot myself.." i guess "w a nail gun" is the best choice out of what I expected
Alas, very true. I'll sell some of my eggs and give you like 10%
And with my 90% I'll get a scooter with a sidecar. And a pony. Also with sidecar.
He wrote me poetry. 12 hours after getting my number
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
Sex on the scooter in the parking lot wasn't the smartest idea. Actual quote from the cop as he handed me the ticket and fist bumped me.
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
He wants to pour butter pecan flavored coffee creamer on me and lick it off. I'm like, dude, gross. French Vanilla ok? Ugh.
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
You did what with his pubic hair?
Randomize
