that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
I'm not 100% on this, but I'm pretty sure I just accidently talked my way into a threesome.
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
They put me in charge of something. Why the fuck would you look at me and put me in charge of something while i'm double fisting peach mimosas at a baby shower
its like what part of i just threw up mcdonalds breakfast means i want to make out with you?
Well two things you gotta know if you're gonna live here. your alcohol tolerance is gonna need to go up, and people do blow. Get used to it. Nobody is gonna pressure you into it. That shits expensive
Whatever dude, just dont tell her your first impression was she looked like your cousin. no judgement here. just sayin.
I'm about to have a bowl of Advils... without any fucking milk.
He was having this drunk emotional breakdown and I was just trying to cheer him up but instead fell and dumped the whole pickle jar on me
It was cool though because he was fine afterwards and somehow I convinced them I did it on purpose...
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
My new dentist just kinda stared at me when I told him that I used to have partial dentures after breaking 2 teeth while beating the shit out of someone, until I puked them into the toilet and flushed them after getting high and making myself undercooked mac and cheese.
I’m getting back at my ex and training my new boy toy how to properly satisfy a woman. I’m killing two birds with one dick.
God. Spice Girls is now grocery store demographic. Kill me.
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