Your parents are going to be so confused in the morning
More like pissed. but ill be sure to explain my pathological fear of terrorists hiding in the bathtub
I wish i could be there for it
This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
idk if its the weather or the "im still drunk" or the morning sex i just had with my roommates gf but that was def the most enjoyable walk in the rain ever
pretty sure i saw you masturbating on chatroulette a minute ago. yes, i can recognize your cock
I THOUGHT I SAW YOU
Today's face brought to you by last night's make-up.
My mouth holds just enough water for my bong
after I lost so many games of beer pong they made me be a troll, I sat under the table and told riddles while retrieving balls.
I think a kid would responsible me up
I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.
Should I go sleeveless of strapless?
Hmmm, it doesn't matter. You're gonna be topless by the end of it.
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
I mean I just feel if I'm not being fat and lazy then I'm not really being myself
Does going to a local bar count as taking part in Small Business Saturday? Asking for a friend
It's days like today that make me happy I'm not a porn star.
Also, my guy said they would be around. And i clarified that when I asked him for mushrooms he didn't hear "a mushroom or two" but rather understood I meant "all the mushrooms you can find between now and 4th of July."
Randomize
