I've decided that my new worst fear is that I'll end up on "I Didn't Know I was Pregnant"
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
She asked if you knew her boyfriend, and you responded that you "think you gave him head once" and then hiccupped.
You brought us all personal gifts you had stolen from the party and bellowed "hoes hoes hoes, clepto Santa loves you"
he attacked my vagina with the force of a thousand suns
Chipotle just hit me... I want to go sit in the corner of the shower and cry until morning.
I'm not sure what step "make amends" is, but my phone is on
turns out putting a tie on my unicorn onesie didn't make it acceptable "formal wear" and I found salsa in my cup holder
I just puke and rallied at my anniversary dinner #winning
You said, "I'll have this whole island inside of you by 6 AM. Just point out who you want and I'll make it happen."
Somehow my family started talking about sex toys at breakfast.
i just woke up, first off why is there pineapple everywhere and who's underwear is on my ceiling fan ?
How did I end up in some random dudes car?
Some guy came up to you and asked if you knew how to drive stick.
I went to finger her and found a penny. I think ill keep it.
Randomize
