with your own penis?
The only reason you're wearing underwear tonight is cause you have a family dinner before
there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
This is drunk me apologizing to sober me in advance.. I am sprry about you're trashed house. Mom an dad will be home by 5 so get up and clean. P.s. Mike is in the closet passed out.
a garbage man just dropped off my phone and wallet. he found them in the trash this morning.
I love how kegs are figured into our monthly bills
I think he's on the stoner protein diet. I just saw him, at 3 am, spreading mayo on a slice of deli ham and sprinkling salt on top.
he belly flopped onto the beer pong table, and almost boke his face, so at that point we decided swimming would be safer for him.
You handed J your Mayan-pocalypse shopping list and told him he wasn't getting laid unless he brought everything on it. Where is he supposed to get a live goat?!
No more margaritas for you. Also, tequila should be reclassified as a hallucinogen.
I think I fucked up my elbow when I tried to fight off the paramedics.
So what if you don't want to be with your family. Go drink alone and watch Netflix like a normal person, don't be productive!
All i remember is looking at the bottle vodka that I was drinking and wondering how it was suddenly empty.
That may have had to do with you chugging it
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
Randomize
