maybe you should start leaving anonymous bottles of booze on his doorstep with love notes attatched. that always gets me.
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
He got drunk and insisted on licking my eyeball and called it a test of my trust in him.
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
Our dealer is pledging my frat. When he come to sell me weed I make him take out the garbage.
We were both halfway out the window trying to give each other high fives over the roof while the dude was going 150.
He came in 20 minutes late for his final wearing plastic bags on his feet, and a tablecloth cape. Explain.
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
Peanut butter balls.
IF YOU EVEN COME NEAR MY BALLS AGAIN I SWEAR TO GOD
Balls are being tripped. Said meow to my cat and he said yeah cool dude.
I was late because I helped this old romanian lady mow her lawn at 2AM.
Your biggest crisis right now is that you can't decide whether to keep hooking up with AN NFL PLAYER or try to rekindle your relationship with your ex. You are a walking white girl problem.
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
I blame her lesbian super powers of coercion.
Randomize
