No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
I was just handed a mimosa the size of my head. Stay tuned.
She handed me a mouthguard and said "here, you're going to need this" that rough.
we should probably just go check in at the police station right now
He told me he wanted to sleep but I touched his penis and listened to his heart beat start racing. I knew sleeping was bullshit.
Use your nursing skills for good, not evil.
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
I'm sitting outside your room listening for sex noises eating pepperoni...slowly
But how do I turn off the feelings though?
Vodka.
Dude, you stalking his LINKEDIN profile will NOT affect your chances with him. We aren't 40...
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
Hung out near hay bales in sweaters then she gave me a pumpkin spice pop rocks bj. That was so freakin' seasonal.
Just got a blow job from a woman on a ski slope. She said ski'ing frightens her and giving head calms her down. Glad I could help ma'am!
I don't care if he's the coolest coworker, if he's living in his mom's basement at 30 you should not buy drugs from him
Sitting in a waiting room with 15 children has me contemplating if I ever want to have sex again...
I hooked up with a sophomore, passed out at midnight, and apparently drunkenly peed on Nicole's wedding invitation
Randomize
