He kept asking me to take off my bra and I sat up so he could. He fumbled with it for a few minutes and when I sighed and went to undo it he goes, "Yeah, you got this."
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
Ricky Martin is gay. You owe me $10 from 3rd grade.
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
To the person who left a cup of vomit in the bathroom: I commend you for your aim but you are dead to me- not an ideal birthday present.
Oh shut up man. Once the police get involved its every man for themself.
ive penciled you in for a day of excessive drinking
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
You asked me if you had to go downstairs to get upstairs. And then you forgot where you were.
don't judge my taste in strippers
Remember when I puked into a mesh garbage can in the middle of a meeting and told the clients it was "morning sickness"?
hahah yep
Well the are flying back here, it's been like 10 months, should I frame fake baby pics in my office?? Or too much?
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
I woke up and finished the bottle like a champ
Randomize
