he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
just found preset five on the shower head...pretty sure my pussy just had a panic attack
My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
Im shirtless eating a burrito. How urgent is this?
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
Is it acceptable I'm laying in bed drinking airplane bottles?
In our world? Yes, but I'm disappointed yoiu are wasting airplane bottles. Save them for sneaky occasions
Having the sex-a-thon in the back yard led to some really odd tan lines.
Like handprints on my lower back...
Love is....waiting for your girl to throw up her shot in the bathroom...then handing her her beer. Game face.
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
He fell on top of me at a party. I slept with him a week later. We've been fucking for 2 moths. Most successful relationship ever.
DID YOU DO SOMETHING WITH THE DEAD ROACH IN THE KITCHEN? OR DID IT LAZARUS?
Last night I went to spank her while she was riding me and sack-tapped myself.
I'm so sexually frustrated I feel like I'm going to kill my turtle
I am at the car wash dressed as a turn of the century librarian
I'm hiding in my office refusing to turn the light on holding puke down stealing and shoveling down the meeting snacks and regretting my poor life choices. goldfish crackers are like crack to me right now. how is your day?
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