The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
EVERY baby cries during their baptism. It's like they know from that moment on their parents are going to make them do lame things like their first communion and stuff.
she was pretty much dry humping my leg when her boyfriend walked in. he says "you should probably leave." all i could come up with was "YEAH, I KNOW!"
We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
110% paid for our cab with a lap dance
Somehow it went from suicide to pierced nipples. I think we're good.
Dropping the entire last roll of TP into the toilet is a hurt you don't want to know.
My cell phone fell out of my shirt pocket while tying my shoe on an escalator....which was followed by me being accused of trying to sneak an upskirt photo and being violently shoved down the top of the escalator. How's YOUR day?
I was stopped at a light on my way home and a priest threw holy water on my car. Seems fitting after last night.
She gatecrashed the wedding and managed to get an invite to the open bar reception. Lucky bitch
Got it in all night, now at a bar at 730 am and we are the only two people here. Somewhere my mid twenties father is applauding me.
I don't think I used nearly enough fucks in my reply to convey the level of fuck him.
Am I under any obligation to let my new fuck buddy know I slept with his little sister?
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