I didn't go out last night, but I dreamed that I blacked out and the *CRAZY* thing I did was to eat 12 cupcakes off 12 diff plates and stack them up neatly. If I had a life, I'd hate it.
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
He had the Transformers symbol tattooed to his chest. We had to do it doggy style so I could laugh into my pillow instead of his face.
So after I pop out this baby we need to just go on a monthlong coke binge so I can get skinny again before vegas
Be careful there's warming lubricant on the floor. I will clean and explain later.
Sometime between a drunk guy asking me if I'm a Beach person or a lake person WHILE HIS HAND WAS IN HIS FUCKING PANTS or breaking up a lady fight over peewee football league I started to reevaluate my life and self
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
I got my little bro high for the first time... Turns out the two of us stoned together is a mess. We spent 10 minutes trying to communicate with each other using just our eyebrows.
I sobered up and saw I was with the fat one and you had left laughing with the hot one. You're a terrible wingman, but an excellent manipulator
Can you technically cross something off your bucket list if you don't, per say, remember it....?
Sally, Your mom and my mom hooked up in college, we must uphold this tradition.
They wouldn't let me on the bull because I couldn't even sign my own name... She let me try 3 times...
I've decided to give up hard drugs for the rest of the year.
Man I was just the closest I've ever been to crapping my pants.
The first thing you did was give us a tour of the house and showed us who was "on-limits" and "off-limits"
Randomize
