No. I broke it. Note to self, never take a shower with your phone in your pocket.
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
So this shipmate of mine somehow managed to throw up in his back pocket.
My T9 text prediction thing keeps predicting every next word is going to be "midgets".
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
I found a fried uncrustable on the table from last night.
broke the door off of my fridge tryin to have a indoor rodeo
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
He asked if I smoke and I said "only fools like you on the basketball court!" Then I started crying. I think I'm about to have my period.
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
Come over. We have half a bottle of jumbo champagne left and no boyfriends to slow us down
Well obviously we have a ghost in the house who’s taking showers in your bathroom and doing our cocaine.
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
Randomize